Sightings of aliens were common in the Arizona desert. Although they were friendly, the locals felt threatened. So they bought guns. One night, a young alien crossed the wrong back yard—bang! Poor bastard was looking for the land of opportunity, just wanted to feed his family back in Mexico.
Hey guys. Motorcycle stolen. Biking in. Will be late. Not sure by how
much. Depends how windy it is. See you soon.
Actually, (I’m really sorry)….my mind is elsewhere right now. I’m
going to have to reschedule. I’ll let you guys know. Really
sorry.
FaelanBlair.com
New look! Classic poor taste…
(yep. there’s 50.)
The house was in flames. From the window, a baby cried.
The man had to act fast. As he entered the burning house he had a choice to make: He could save his baby, or he could save his Jackson Pollock “painting.”
He decided: “I can always make more babies.”
“Tell me a joke,” they said.
“Ok. Fine. What’s the difference between a dead baby and a Jackson Pollock ‘painting’?”
“What?”
“I don’t have a Jackson Pollock ‘painting’ hanging upside down in my closet.”
“That’s fucked up!” they said, “How can you joke around with something like a Jackson Pollock?”
A woman is dying of cancer. The doctors gave her 2 weeks, tops.
Her daughter gave her a gift. When she unwrapped it and looked at it, she felt life rush through her veins.
Her next x-rays came back—the cancer was gone.
The gift was a Jackson Pollock “painting.”
I woke up in the morning and made my bed. I stacked the pillows nicely then went to work. When I got home I watched some TV, ate dinner, went online. Then I removed the pillows and went to sleep. The next morning, I woke up and made my bed.
Paul read somewhere that running for an hour a day would increase his life by 3 years.
So he got some running shoes and ran an hour every day.
One week later, during his daily run, a fat guy eating French fries while driving ran him over. Paul died instantly.
John read somewhere that running for an hour a day would increase his life by 3 years.
So he got some running shoes and ran an hour a day, every day.
While on his deathbed, he did the math and realized that he wasted 3 years of his life running.
Sightings of aliens were common in the Arizona desert. Although they were friendly, the locals felt threatened. So they bought guns.
One night, a young alien crossed the wrong back yard—bang!
Poor bastard was looking for the land of opportunity, just wanted to feed his family back in Mexico.
***guys, i swear i don’t talk like this, or live this for that matter. please don’t think i’m crazy, i swear i’m a good christian boy.***